What to do when your Child lies?


With growing age, children develop a common habit of telling lies. Many a time, it may be the situation that irrespective of all the efforts put in by you, your child doesn’t stop lying. But, frequent and regular appraisal to be truthful by highlighting the consequences of telling lies can make him leave the habit. However, irrespective of the seriousness of the situation, it is never wise to label your child as a “liar”. Doing this can affect his self-esteem.

Things to do when your Child Lies

If your child lies frequently, don’t punish or blame him. It is not difficult to curb this habit. You can do this easily using proper discipline strategy. Some good ones include:

Know the Reason

Your child can lie to you for various different reasons, according to Dr. William Sears. The most common reasons include the fear of getting into a trouble, seeking attention, fear of rejection, or indulging in fantasy and pretend play.

Finding out the reason can make it easier to put an end to your child’s lying habit.

Make a Deal

Make a deal with your child. This deal should focus at making your child pledge to follow the policy of honesty. Also highlight predetermined consequences of lying. Speak to them about your expectations for honesty. Make them sign the contract and remind them about this whenever they are caught telling a lie.

Highlight the Consequences

Make your kids well acquainted with consequences of telling lies. Make sure to stay consistent to enforce them according to situation. Any type of leniency or negligence can influence the child to continue lying.

Be Careful with Behavioral Lying

If your child indulges in deliberate lying, it is important to deal with the underlying behavior that led him to speak the concerned lie. Many a time, you may require changing your child’s society and environment to avoid situations that may lead him to telling lies.

Check the Motive behind the Child’s Lie

Did your child tell a lie to avoid punishment? Was he scared about the consequences of the mistake he made? He might be feeling ashamed, guilty, anxious, or scared for his mistake.

Benefit of Doubt

Rather than accusing your child for anything even if you are very sure about it. It is better to talk to them about your concerns and suspicions. Tell them that you will be checking them for the same.

Highlight the Advantages of Honesty

Rather than telling your child that it is not good to tell lies, it is wiser to tell them about the advantages and good things about being honest and truthful. This is a far better way to get your child free from the habit of lying.

Play Role Model

Children don’t do what you teach them. Rather, they do what they see you doing. If you want your child to grow up as a truthful and honest individual, it is important that you set an example for him. Be the change you want to bring about in your child. Remember, your child is always observing you, even if he is not actively listening.

Stay Calm

Any emotional or hyper reaction towards your child’s lying habit can develop a feeling of distrust or disapproval. Consequently, the child will find out ways to not get caught for his lies rather than quitting the habit all over. Therefore, try to stay calm and avoid emotional reactions of any type.

Try to Build Trust and Closeness

Building closeness and trust with your child plays an important role in getting your child rid of lying habit. This further helps to make your child feel loved unconditionally and realize that he has your help and support just anytime and anywhere.

The most important thing of all is to never ever label or tag your child as a liar, even for the biggest of lies. Giving a tag can reinforce the behavior thus making him believe that he is a liar and he may not find any good reason to put an end to this habit. The most effective tip is to find out the reason for the lie told and try to understand it from your child’s viewpoint. Once you have achieved this, you will automatically develop a friendly relation with your child and find it easier to help him get rid of this habit.

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